Looking for your Shiva?

After so many generations of being suppressed, the time came for women to be empowered and recognised for what they are, as they are.

It is so beautiful to see them stepping out of the box: in their strengths and vulnerabilities, shinning from this inner desire to be free of social conditionings and limitations, free from the burden of concepts about how they should or should not be: being true to themselves!

I am so glad to be able to witness femininity in such a wide spectrum of shapes, forms and expressions!

Lately, i am meeting an increasing amount of Sisters awakening and blooming all over the world!

With those processes of opening and breaking free, they are re-defining themselves, re-defining the very core idea of what is it to be a Woman and they spread the word.

As they change, so are their desires and they are looking for men to match this new level of awareness.

They clearly express an aspiration for real Love and for a new kind of relationships.

The old paradigm of masculinity became obsolete as soon as the feminine one shifted.

From this transformation, it’s been created a new masculine ideal.

This man able to meet the empowered woman is:

present,

strong but no violent,

stable and centred,

vulnerable and in touch with his emotions,

expressing feelings,

loving the woman as she is,

being able to handle her storms,

a worshipper of her Divine essence,

… a proper Shiva

That’s such a beautiful description, I love it. In fact, most men love it!

But through time, It’s been so much said, written and repeated that it slowly but viciously evolved from:

 «i’d love a man like that»  to  «a man should be like that».

Sadly, it became the natural standard of «how i should be» for many men.

Even more sad, this affects mainly the men trying to break free from the old paradigm of masculinity. As they leave the old concept of of is it to be a man, they look for new models and ideals and get easily trapped into «i should be like this».

«How i should be»

This sounds so wrong to my ears. No one, man or woman, SHOULD be anything except him/herself.

I don’t blame this longing and calling for "a Shiva", the concept of the ideal man.

Used as an aspiration, it’s a beautiful and uplifting concept.

But this is an ideal! Far from what most men and women actually are at.

And it feels so much pushed upon us, its looks like a comparison, one that is very bitter and counter productive.

I’m sure that «the ideal woman» meet this kind of «ideal man», but most of us are still a work in progress.

I see now so many brothers struggling, judging themselves as not enough, not as they should be, not as the world (in this context, women) wants them to be.

There is a lot a Great Men, doing their best and trying hard to become the best version of themselves.

Then how it comes that i still hear so often: «it is so hard to find a conscious man!"

Maybe we have mistaken the meaning of a conscious man with this of a masculine ideal?

My vision of the ideal man? Being who i am, as i am. And like this, i grow into consciousness.

This is actually what i wish for everyone, regardless of the gender.

If you want a conscious relationship, instead of asking qualities, skills and behaviours in the man, ask them to be who they are, as they are.

That’s the best way to learn how to love and accept oneself as we are.

Funnily, that’s the best way to grow toward that ideal Shiva!

«if you love someone, set them free»… also from concept!