What is there to be pursued?

It feels like i spent my entire life running after something.

I still can hear a voice telling me: «one must know his purpose in life and go for it»

That is what relentlessly kept me going for the next whatever, and the next, and the next…

There is a sense of evolution in those quests: from material, to social, to spiritual achievement.

There is even a pride in this so called evolution.

But what is there to be achieved? Even spiritually, is there something to be achieved?

Deep inside, i always knew that all this will not bring real light to my life.

Of course, it fills it with emotions, sensations of glory and success at best, or with a feeling of failure and misery at worst.

Failing is feared; Success is adored!

But, regardless to the outcome, the more i pursue things and results, the more i go away from who i really am.

Those goals are a polishing of my ego, feeding it with rewards and punishments.

And however good i polish it, it is still only my ego.

Is it really what's life all about?

To be successful? whatever is your definition of success.

Again, deep inside i always knew that this is not it.

But the ephemeral results kept me fooled and blind.

So remain the question: what is there to be pursued?

What if there is nothing left for us to do, except to surrender to what's bigger than us?

What if Self Love was only a question of accepting what is, how it is, even without any understanding of the what, why and how?

By surrender, I am not preaching non action or passive approach to life. No, i mean an Active Surrender!

It is not to surrender and give up on life.

It is to surrender and give up personal benefits from our actions.

It is the ego surrendering his own will for the sake of an higher consciousness.

In the same way that a kid accept to follow his parents as they know the way better; I want to follow God as he always knows better than Sebastien.

So, what if the answer was to do for the sake of doing?

Doing because i feel called to, because i simply know that this is what is to be done.

For more than 10years, i’ve been called by the name: Seva

In sanskrit, it means «selfless service».

But i mostly experienced it as: my body is selflessly serving my ego.

The ego is smart, it polishes itself by affirming great intentions: to help others!

But beyond masks and self lies, i have to admit that it is still the ego trying to make itself shine…

There is no blame there. This desire for shining is totally natural.

It is a longing to find again my original light, to go back to the source.

When one realises that the light comes from within, he loses interest in the luring reflection outside.

From there, there is nothing left to be pursued.